Balance in the K-drama Relationship

No, today's post isn't going to be me getting onto my soapbox again about how much I love strong female leads. Well, okay, it sort of is, but it's not only about that. 

When I first started watching K-dramas, I was so swept up in the magic of these extended romances that I didn't pay much attention to the power imbalance that is so pervasive in the K-drama world. People were being romantic, and as long as the women weren't total puppies, I was okay. Now that I have much more expansive experience with dramas, I have more room to recognize the best of the best K-drama relationships for what they are.

So what makes a power relationship? It's not just the romance. I have seen plenty of dramas filled with grand romantic gestures where I, as a viewer, was left wondering why these two even wanted to get together in the first place (Heirs, anyone?). While I love a swoony chaebol romance as much as the next person, I have to admit that some of the most powerful K-drama relationships focus less on the gigantic romantic hurdles between the couple and more on their non-romantic time together. Without a foundation for the relationship, what happens once the in-laws get out of the way or they recover from amnesia? Could they enjoy watching TV or grocery shopping together without all of the K-drama drama? 

To me, the best K-drama relationships involve an equal amount of give and take. This is why puppylike female leads drive me insane. Real relationships don't just involve one person hanging on until the other person gives in at the end of the series. Instead, we need enough time to believe that both characters are wholeheartedly invested in the relationship. For the record, this was my biggest beef with You're Beautiful. I wasn't ever fully convinced that he cared about her nearly as much as she cared for him.

Sometimes, I'm conflicted over K-drama chaebols who relentlessly pursue the women they desire. On the one hand, the feminist in me rages when I see an entitled man dragging a helpless woman around until she finally succumbs to him. On the other hand, when you set up a dynamic where the man is wealthy, charismatic, and powerful, while the woman is poor, unattractive (according to the show), and socially awkward, having the man develop feelings first is a way to offer some power to the female character. The ball is finally in her court, and it's ultimately her decision if she wants to proceed. It balances the relationship.

When a show's writers recognize that both characters can contribute equally to a relationship, it allows for a natural friendship between the characters that serves as a basis for their love. Some of my absolute favorite scenes in romantic dramas involve the two leads spending time together and becoming friends before a romance blossoms. If you aren't even friends with someone, why on earth should we believe that you're willing to give up your family company or your first love or one of your kidneys for that person?

Where does one find such balanced friendships? Here are a few of the more equal relationships in K-drama land:

1. History of a Salaryman

This is a prime example of how a focus away from romantic hurdles can actually build a stronger K-drama relationship. The main couple never kissed. THEY NEVER KISSED. And yet, when I think about the best relationships in dramaland, the relationship between Yoo Bang and Baek Yeo Chi was refreshingly balanced. What made this couple so fantastic is that, while they grew as people, they never stopped being themselves. We didn't get a Prime Minister and I scenario where the two leads started out with personalities that gradually deflated into tame, generic pleasantries by the end of the show. Instead, we got two very flawed characters who accepted and enjoyed each other for who they were. This couple didn't need to cry over each other with solitary tears because it didn't match their personalities. Instead, Baek Yeo Chi was swearing her face off until the very end of the show, and Yoo Bang was boisterous as ever. That's the kind of relationship you believe will last until they're old and grey. I'm only partway through My Love from Another Star, but it seems like it may be a similar dynamic with a female lead who doesn't lose her sass to love.

2. Sungkyunkwan Scandal

There's something about a gender bender that invites a balanced relationship. When you take physical appearance out of the equation, the male lead has no choice but to respect the female lead as a person if he's going to fall in love. Sungkyunkwan Scandal allows its female lead to act as the core of her male group, demonstrating her value in the relationship before the relationship even begins. Even the romantic parts blossom from their shared interests, like the love notes hidden in library books.

3. Coffee Prince

Coffee Prince was my very first K-drama, and when I initially watched it, I was constantly uneasy that the relationship would turn into a puppy-master disaster. After all, Han Kyul is clearly the one in control as the wealthy, handsome playboy who also happens to be Eun Chan's boss, and Eun Chan is pretty open about her feelings from the beginning of the series. I have to admit that Eun Chan's enthusiasm sometimes bordered on being puppylike for me (I know that Coco disagrees), but what ultimately saves this relationship is the deep friendship that precedes and underlies the entire romance. Han Kyul and Eun Chan are completely comfortable around each other, both as friends and later as lovers.

4. King 2 Hearts

The chemistry between the leads wasn't the best I have ever seen, but what I appreciated in this drama was the recognition of strengths and weaknesses on both sides. Kim Hang Ah can fend for herself and then some, which means that she has plenty to contribute to a relationship with a king. Because they first meet as colleagues in training, there are quite a few moments throughout the drama where these two enjoy their time together.

5. Protect the Boss

Both of these characters are quirky and odd. What makes them work so well is that they bring out the best in each other. Alone, they're both a bit lost. Together, they're much better than the sum of their parts. This is one example where the male character fell first, but it didn't turn into a feminist nightmare. Instead, the female lead gave him (and viewers) a lesson on sexual harassment and focused on building a lasting connection before even considering the possibility of love.

So far, You Are All Surrounded is giving me hope that it might be a drama with a strong central friendship. Sure, Dae Gu is still in the mean phase of the relationship, but both characters have strengths and weaknesses that complement each other well, and working together is generally a good premise for building deep friendships. Fingers crossed that it uses the potential well!

Maybe you've noticed that this list is short. You know what that means? It means that I want suggestions for balanced K-drama relationships. Anyone have favorites? (And if you say Boys over Flowers or Heirs, I will disregard your opinion forever. Don't take it personally, okay?)

Balance in the K-drama Relationship

Who's That Actor? Lee Sung Min

Back in high school, I used to have this skill where I could link any two actors--and I mean ANY two actors--based on the movies they shared.  It was like that "six steps to Kevin Bacon" game, except it didn't usually involve Kevin Bacon, and some of the more obscure ones took a little longer than six steps.

As someone who couldn't sing, dance, play the piano, or do anything else obviously impressive in front of a crowd, I was secretly a little bit proud of my random mini-talent, and so I cultivated it by reading all kinds of reviews for movies I never saw and memorizing the names of random bit actors.

The IMDB app on my phone has made my offhand ability to answer the question of "What else was that guy in?" somewhat obsolete, but I still have some affection for those side actors who appear in everything without anyone (ad by "anyone," I mostly just mean me) knowing anything about them.  I used to read the "Lawrence/Julie&Julia" blog from time to time, and he would occasionally spotlight random actors from Julie and Julia.  I've decided that I want to do the same thing here, but with kdrama actors who pop up frequently in side roles.  Because why should you have to Google things if I can Google them for you?

For the first kdrama edition of "Who's That Actor?", I'm going to spotlight Lee Sung Min:

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Where you might have seen him: Miss Korea (as the angry/mopey gangster constantly accompanied by sad woodwind music), My Princess (as the bossy president), Pasta ("You. Are. FIRED!"), and about fifty billion other roles, most of which involve high levels of shouting--go here for the full list.

Biggest role: He was one of the leads in Golden Time, which I haven't seen, but based on the title, it sounds like a show that probably revolves around grandfathers sitting in rocking chairs on a porch reminiscing about the old days while Tobey Maguire does a voiceover segue into a flashback.  

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Based on Viki, it's actually about emergency medicine and also stars Lee Sun Gyun, which sounds like a much better premise than my initial hypothesis.  Lee Sung Min won several awards for his role as a trauma surgeon, including the 2012 MBC Drama award for Actor of the Year.  So what I'm trying to say is that he's kind of a big deal.  

My favorite role: I always forget that he was the older brother in King 2 Hearts.  It was much softer than most of his other roles.  *Wipes away tears.

Fun fact: I kind of assumed that this guy must have been some young hot kdrama actor back in his 20s who just gradually shifted into older roles.  Nope.  As it turns out, the guy started acting in 2004 at the age of 36, which, as far as I can tell, might as well be seventeen million years old in Korean celebrity terms.  You have to wonder what got him into acting at that point.  Was some director desperate for a really bossy character, and he suddenly thought, "You know who would be perfect?  Uncle Sung Min!  Too bad he's already a used car salesman instead of an actor..."?  I guess we will never know for sure.  

So there you have it.  The next time he pops up on the screen, you can tell all of your friends, "Hey!  That's Lee Sung Min!"  and they will all be really impressed.

Any other random actors you want to see spotlighted?

Who's That Actor? Lee Sung Min

(Not Really) Fashion Face-Off Friday: Kdrama Proposals

I think that our last Fashion Face-Off, the Battle of the Facial Hair, might have been the closest contest we've ever had.  As of this minute, Hyun Bin wins for his character in The Snow Queen, but it's been pretty back-and-forth between him and Cha Seung Won in City Hall this entire time. Can I take this as a sign that we wouldn't mind a little more scruff on our leading men every now and again?

I spent last weekend at my little brother's wedding (I can't believe he's married! Awww, but also weird?), and it put me in the mood to write about kdrama nuptials.  Now, most wedding fashion that appears in these shows doesn't actually make it to the altar.  I feel like the prettiest gowns and suits are usually wasted in those dramatic "Omo, he's marrying the wrong person!" or "We're gonna get married, but in a terrible twist of fate, we need to wait five more episodes!" kinds of scenes.  So instead of writing about wedding fashion, I want to devote this week's face-off to something that isn't clothing, but still requires a lot of style: kdrama proposals.  

Many kdramas leave us with the couple staring off into the sunset and allow us to assume that they will live lives of blissful commitment.  Other dramas fast forward to show us wonderful snippets of future married life.  Other dramas are terrible, stingy buttfaces and don't really give us much romantic closure at all.  But every once in a while, we get to see the actual engagement unfold, and the proposals are usually tailored to match the characters.  This week's contenders might not all be the best kdrama proposals (at least in my opinion), but they are a diverse selection that will hopefully meet everyone's unique tastes.

Obviously, there will be some spoilers here.

Contender 1: The "It's the Thought that Counts" Proposal (Protect the Boss)

I'm terribly biased in favor of this show, and Noh Eun Seol and Cha Ji Heon are one of my favorite kdrama couples.  So when Eun Seol shows up to a romantic candlelit dinner and Ji Heon croons a cheesy ballad to her by way of expressing his feelings, you would think it would be heart-melting swoon material, right?

You know that feeling when you're watching a singing show and one of the contestants has a hilarious personality, so you're really rooting for them to win, but then they open their mouths and it's so painful that you have to change the channel?  That's kind of what happens here.  My reaction went from "Awww, he put 'I love you' inside of a fortune cookie!" to "Why is this happening????" in about 0.2 seconds.  Poor Ji Sung has kind of a cringe-worthy voice, but at least he has a nice heart!

If you're someone who values effort over execution and secretly applauds the William Hungs of the world, this proposal is for you.

Contender 2: The Big Gesture Proposal (A Gentleman's Dignity)

I never really understood the allure of proposals that happen in front of gigantic groups of people.  Making me come down to the field in a baseball stadium? Blech. Putting my face on a Jumbotron for the whole world to see?  No, thanks.  

I have to admit, though, that I'm a huuuuuuuuuuge sucker for anything that involves a massive choreographed dance number.  Maybe it's my childhood dream that my life would transform into the movie Newsies:

Why yes, that is 17-year-old Christian Bale belting his lungs out.  And be-eyepatched Trey Parker, before he became old and gross.  And the guy from The Mighty Ducks. Okay, okay, his name is Aaron Lohr, and yes, I do remember that from eight-year-old Vivi's mild obsession with this film.

Choreographed dance numbers have become an increasingly trendy way to propose in recent years, so it's no surprise that A Gentleman's Dignity matched Yi Soo's highly stylish outfits with an equally stylish proposal.  No matter how you feel about Kim Do Jin as a character, you gotta give the guy mad props for planning this whole thing and then tacking on a throwback to episode 1, as well.

Aside from Newsies aficionados, this proposal also suits those people who enjoy announcing their love to the world.

Contender 3: The Heartfelt Speech Proposal (King 2 Hearts)

Poor Hang Ah had two big-gesture proposals early on in this series, and both of them ended up being hoaxes.  It's only fitting, then, that the real deal would come without any fuss as they stand next to some military vehicles.  It might not be the fanciest proposal in the world, but who needs balloons when you get lines like "I'm going to shower you with kisses every morning"?

We're focusing on substance over style here, but those conveniently falling blossoms don't hurt the mood, either.

Contender 4: The Lazy--I Mean, "Low Maintenance"--Proposal (Secret Garden)

Gil Ra Im is a pretty low-maintenance kind of girl.  She usually prefers comfort, practicality, and kicking butt to anything frilly, so bringing her to city hall and announcing immediate marriage might be the best bet for her personality.  After all, she has already declared her disdain for chocolates, wine, and all other romantic fluff.

On the other hand, "Because I said so" isn't the most compelling reasoning I've ever heard to get married, and I simply can't bring myself to believe that anyone--Gil Ra Im included--actually hates a good box of Lindt truffles.  Impossible!  

Estonians have this phrase, "laiskvorst," which directly translates to "lazy sausage." I personally feel like this is kind of a laiskvorst proposal, but hey, maybe it works for some people. If you've got a no-nonsense attitude and prefer to circumvent all of the obnoxious wedding planning in favor of getting right to the honeymoon, then you've found your dream proposal right here!

Contender 5: The Classic Fairytale Proposal (City Hall)

Roses? Check. Candles? Check. Waltzing? Check. FREAKING TWINKLE LIGHTS? Check. It might not be new or exciting, but sometimes they're classics for a reason.

Yes, she WILL dance with you through life.  She's not a crazy person!

I just noticed that 3/5 proposals here come courtesy of Kim Eun Soook.  Does this give us a hint for the future of Heirs?

And, just because you all read through this so nicely, I will share what might just be my favorite ending love scene of anything ever created:

Okay, so Richard Armitage doesn't technically say the words "Let's get married" with his voice, but I don't even care because he SAYS IT WITH HIS EYES.

So which proposal scene best matches your style? Did we miss one of your favorites?  Vote and comment below!

Which Kdrama Had the Best Proposal Style?
	Protect the Boss
	A Gentleman's Dignity
	King 2 Hearts
	Secret Garden
	City Hall
	Uh, what are we voting on again? I got lost in Richard Armitage's eyes.
pollcode.com free polls

(Not Really) Fashion Face-Off Friday: Kdrama Proposals

Partying It Up in the Palace: King 2 Hearts Korean Drama Review

I'm gradually working my way through all of the shows I should have watched back in 2012. After Nice Guy, I went back to something (at least initially) more lighthearted with King 2 Hearts. It seems like this series was somewhat polarizing.   People either loved it, or they kind of hated it.  My answer?  I agree!  With (almost) everyone!  With mad diplomacy skills like these, I deserve to be in the UN, right?  Because I could do a better job than most of the diplomats in this show, that's for sure.

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Loved It

The casting for this series was pretty spot-on.  I was kind of ambivalent about Lee Seung Gi after My Girlfriend Is a Gumiho, and hearing that he was supposed to pay a king in this series wasn't a very strong selling point for me.  I'm happy to admit that I shouldn't have been such a Judgy McJudgerson.  Unlike many drama leads (and what I expected from this character as well), Prince Lee Jae Ha isn't cold and cruel.  He's immature and a little thoughtless, but he's also fun and friendly.  Lee Seung Gi was the perfect pick to bring lightheartedness to the front end of the series.

Ha Ji Won was a natural choice for the character of Kim Hang Ah, a North Korean assassin who finds herself engaged to the South Korean prince.  If you liked Ha Ji Won in Secret Garden, you'll love her here.  If you hated Ha Ji Won in Secret Garden, you might actually like her here.

As far as smart, strong female leads go, Kim Hang Ah is a solid contender for the top of the list.  Let's start with the fact that she's an assassin.  As in, she knows how to kill people.  As a profession.  Every time I started to forget that she was awesome because they dolled her up and locked her in the palace for a few episodes, she would save everyone's lives just to remind us that she wasn't just some docile, pretty face.

When we made that list of smart, strong female leads, I remember having a discussion about how most dramas require the man to save even the strongest women from time to time just to put them in their place.  Not so with King 2 Hearts!  Kim Hang Ah easily did the lion's share of the saving, and Lee Jae Ha knew it.

Oh, you want to kidnap Hang Ah and use her as helpless damsel bait?

That's a cute plan.

  

You assign a few soldiers to babysit Hang Ah?

Did you miss the part where she killed people for a living?

You want Hang Ah to stay safely at home during an international crisis?

No, thanks.

I have to admit that while I liked the casting separately, the two didn't have the best chemistry I've ever seen in a drama. On the positive side, at least Lee Seung Gi has improved his kissing since MGIaG, though Ha Ji Won seems to have gotten worse since Secret Garden.

The chemistry might have been a little off at times, but I liked the overall relationship development in the series.  I appreciate those little scenes where we see these two having fun together or supporting each other through tough times.  You could see that this relationship eventually went beyond attraction and moved into deep friendship. 

Even though I liked the leads for the aforementioned reasons, they weren't even the stars of the show for me.  All of the other people living in the palace were just as interesting to watch.  There was the queen mother, who might just be the most well-rounded matriarch in drama-dom, and then there was her daughter, who reminded me that Lee Yoon Ji really deserves to be the star of her own drama someday.

And then there was this guy:

At first, I was kind of meh about his character.  I figured he was just a boring pretty boy who would come in handy to create some jealousy.

I cannot overstate how fantastic Jo Jung Suk was as Eun Shi Kyung.  His character wasn't the flashiest one in the show, but it had a quiet depth that can't be ignored.  If You're the Best, Lee Soon Shin weren't eleventy zillion episodes long, I would be tempted to watch it just for him.  But seriously, ain't nobody got time for that!

The last thing that I really enjoyed about this drama was the political background.  Out of all of the imaginary South Korean monarchy dramas I've seen (and I've seen several), this was the first to consider what it would really mean to become the king of a small nation in our modern world. It was an interesting look at international concerns from a non-U.S. perspective.

Hated It

Okay, so with so much going for it, what could possibly go wrong?  Most of it boils down to John Mayer, the villainous magician/leader of the worldwide military-industrial complex. (I really, really wanted to tell a "Your Body Is a Wonderland" joke here, but I couldn't think of one, and then the moment was gone.  Curse you, John Mayer!) I get that the drama writers wanted to go for something new and fresh in their villain, but this just didn't work for me.  Most of his scenes just left me scratching my head and wondering how long it would take for him to finish his boring speech so that I could watch some more romance.  Blah blah I am king blah blah.  Seriously, man! Can't you make your evil plans in a more concise manner? 

Also, if you're going to be an eccentric billionaire magician, I expect some high-caliber tricks, not "Pick a card! Any card!"  You could tell that everyone was just clapping out of politeness.  Either that, or fear of his chocolate-eating sidekick. 

Releasing doves?  Really?  What is this--a 7-year-old's birthday party circa 1987?

This isn't really a huge complaint, but after watching some pretty painful American accents (Mr. Secretary of Defense, I'm looking at you!), I hereby volunteer to speak English in any future Korean dramas where they need American people.  You hear that, drama writers?  I volunteer! I can't help you with those awkward bilingual conversations where everyone magically understands everyone else, though.  I'm not a miracle worker, people!

(Spoilers) I felt like the last few episodes dragged onnnnnnnnnn and onnnnnnnn and onnnnnnnn. Considering that John Mayer confessed all of his crimes every five seconds (including in front of UN officers), I don't understand why it was so hard to put him in prison.  If I accept the show's claim that his power was keeping him safe (which is possible), then I'm pretty sure a wedding wouldn't have been enough to keep him in pinstripes (because apparently the ICJ  believes in dressing criminals like 1950s cartoon prisoners).  Maybe this was a case of using all of the good villain-thwarting ideas too early and having nothing left once they got into the episode extensions.

Conclusions

Overall, I think the good outweighed the bad for King 2 Hearts.  Sometimes it was a crazy mishmash of tone, and they probably could have cut a bunch of stuff towards the end, but when a show makes me laugh out loud AND sob like a little baby, I feel like I can recommend it.

Partying It Up in the Palace: King 2 Hearts Korean Drama Review