Why Pragmatic People Don't Write K-dramas

Do you ever find yourself screaming at the TV "CALL THE POLICE!" or "JUST TELL THE TRUTH!", but K-drama characters never seem to listen? I do. Sometimes it seems like a miracle that any K-drama characters survive into adulthood at all based on their poor critical thinking skills, and as someone who can be practical to a fault, it drives me insane.

Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm in charge of writing the K-dramas, and I fill in the massive plot holes or make the characters stop doing stupid things to the best of my ability. Of course, then I realize that if I were writing some of these scenarios, the show would be over immediately, so maybe it's actually a good thing I'm not in charge?


To illustrate my point, here's how a handful of dramas would have turned out differently if I (or anyone equally pragmatic) were writing the scripts.

*WARNING: SPOILERS*

1. Sensory Couple/ Girl Who Sees Smells 

You're already in a car. Just keep drivin' right to the police station.

The dilemma: You find out that your best friend is a serial killer. You already have an appointment set for that evening to meet with a detective at a secluded church. What should you do?

If I were writing: Plan A: Uh, you immediately drive to the police station and tell them that your best friend is a serial killer. Obviously. You then wait at said police station until he is caught so that he can't murder you. You do not die. Roll credits.

Plan B: If, for some reason, you only trust that one detective, you immediately call the detective and say "Hey, I know we're scheduled for tonight, but can I meet you in a well-lit public place right now so that I don't get murdered by my serial killer BFF? Kthxbai!" You do not die. Roll credits.

Plan C: If somehow plans A and B fall through and you end up waiting at a secluded church alone and your serial killer BFF walks in, RUN. Now is not the time to play it cool. You are like a foot taller than this guy and outweigh him by a fair measure, so don't let him get close enough to tranquilize you or something (I assume that's the only way he managed to overpower his friend, right?). Also, pull out your phone and call 911 while you are running so that even if you die, they know who the killer is. Roll credits.

What actually happens: You show up early to the most secluded, dark place possible and hold perfectly still so that your serial killer BFF can catch you as easily as possible. Serial killer BFF then goes on to try to murder more people for the foreseeable future.

While we're on the subject of questionable writing choices and Sensory Couple (which, despite these specific scenes, I quite enjoy), can we give a shout-out to this scene?

I get the idea of fan service, but they are literally talking about how he's a brutal serial killer in this scene. Doesn't that make anyone else feel conflicted? Yay for Namgoong Min's abs, boo for murdering people? I prefer my serial killers without chocolate abs, thank you very much. That will make it easier for me to run away.

2. Nice Guy

Now is not the time for romance!

The dilemma: The girl you've always loved calls you up to say she accidentally killed a guy when he assaulted her at a hotel room. She threatens to commit suicide if this scandal ruins her career as a newscaster. What should you do?

If I were writing: Sit her down and tell her that committing suicide over not being a newscaster is quite literally one of the stupidest things you've ever heard. Give her the phone number of a good career counselor. Stay with her and be a supportive friend as you call the police and help make sure they know that it was self defense.

Realize that she is cray-cray and find someone else to date. Roll credits.

What actually happens: You say, "I know! I'll give up my career as a doctor and go to jail (with a worse sentence than she would have gotten) for a crime I didn't commit." She quits being a newscaster and eventually ends up in jail anyway. You end up on a twisted road to revenge and amnesia.

3. Goong

Parents of the year?

The dilemma: Surprise! You've been secretly betrothed to the crown prince since birth! Too bad he's a total dirtbag and you don't want to marry him. Of course, if you do marry him, you could get your family out of debt and stop those scary loan sharks from putting red tags on the TV. What should you do?

If I were writing: You tell your parents, "My life is worth more than the TV. How about you guys reign in your spending habits a little instead of selling me off like cattle?" Roll credits.

What actually happens: She tearfully steps in to save the TV by marrying the dirtbag prince. He continues to be a dirtbag for about 20 more episodes.

4. Nail Shop Paris

The short answer? No. You don't.

The dilemma: You are a terrible writer with no original ideas. Suddenly, you discover a nail shop where handsome men work and solve their clients' life problems, and you think, "What a great, original idea for a story!" Unfortunately, it's a boys' only club. What should you do?

If I were writing:  You realize it's actually kind of a lame story idea, and you go back to the drawing board. Roll credits.

What actually happens: Even though you look nothing like a boy, you pretend to be a boy and work at the shop. You write the most convoluted mess of a story of all time.

5. The Prime Minister and I

Dear women of the world: Contract marrying the first guy you see won't solve your problems. Or his.

The dilemma: Oh no! You and the Prime Minister have been caught together in what appears to be a scandalous photo! His career may be ruined! What do you do?

If I were writing: You figure an unsubstantiated rumor will blow over much more quickly than a fake marriage and fake divorce would. You keep your day job, and you don't turn into a sad, docile domestic goddess with no personality.

What actually happens: You guys somehow think that a fake marriage and fake divorce will not create ANY scandal at all, and you turn into a sad, docile domestic goddess with no personality. 

So...I guess the moral of this story is that critical thinking skills will never lead to true love?

Are there any other K-drama scenarios that make your logic-loving brains cringe and shriek in horror?

Why Pragmatic People Don't Write K-dramas

A Collage of Better Shows: Nail Shop Paris Korean Drama Review

The good news about the drama Nail Shop Paris is that it's only 10 episodes long.  The bad news about Nail Shop Paris is that I probably wouldn't have bothered to finish it if it had been more than 10 episodes long.

Since this is a short show, I'll also try to keep my review short.

Overview

In one of the first scenes of the show, Hong Yeo Joo ("Bunny"), our female lead, complains that every time she starts to write a story, she finds herself repeating ideas from other books or movies.

Unfortunately, Nail Shop Paris is a self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to writing.  Nail Shop Paris, like its writer lead, seems to believe that basing a story around a male nail artist is enough to make something fresh.  Once Yeo Joo finds her new muse, she proceeds to write an immensely cliche story that sometimes goes to a nail shop for no cohesive reason.  That's exactly what happens to this drama.  They draw attention to the novelty of an all-male nail shop and then proceed to write a tired story that doesn't bring anything else to the table.

The problem here is not only that they repeat ideas, but that they try to repeat too many ideas.  It's like the writers listed ALL of their favorite shows and then tried to cram them all into 10 episodes. Rather than carrying out any of the conflicting stories to a satisfying conclusion, the result ends up being something of a convoluted mishmash without full development anywhere. You can't do justice to a gender bender AND a gumiho story AND every character overcoming inner demons AND a case-of-the-week show all in 10 episodes.

You can't just wink your way out of this!

A perfect example would be the ending.  I don't want to spoil anything, but the last 15 minutes of a series isn't the idea time to turn your show into a supernatural thriller.  And no, having the characters tout the virtues of an "open ending" doesn't really help much.  That's just lazy writing.

So why did I keep watching?  Well, to be honest, it wasn't ALL terrible.  Even though Alex is, quite possibly, the most boring person on the entire planet, I kind of liked Kay, the grumpy corner of the love triangle.  I genuinely wasn't sure how the whole thing would turn out, so I stuck along for the ride (and since I was halfway through before I realized how short that ride would be, it all worked out).  Sure, Kay is grumpy and kind of looks like a gigantic praying mantis when he runs, but at least he's an endearing praying mantis.  I also liked the way that they established flirtation in this show.  It somehow felt more natural than what I've seen in a lot of dramas.

Speaking of men who look better with facial hair...

..And that's basically it.  Park Sang Hyun was cutesy and adorable as Jin, but that only goes so far.  The side plots were all resolved so quickly and neatly that I didn't really get invested. Okay, except for the old people in love.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I have an incurable weakness for old people in love.  All I have to do is listen to the first three notes of the song from Up, and I start to sniffle like it's allergy season in a hay field.

Random Observations

• Chalk this up to having to rush the plot along, but how on earth did ALL of the characters keep their cool like that with the ghost case?  I mean, the lady says, "This woman is having unconscious sex with her dead boyfriend," and they all nod like it's totally normal and calmly go set up her exorcism?  Uhhhhhhhh did we all miss the part where GHOST RAPE IS A THING? No. Nononononononononononoono. I will never sleep again.
• A note to the costume designers: If you want people to believe that this woman is a man, don't dress her in skintight pants all the time.  I don't have the time to give you a full anatomy lesson, but suffice it to say that man parts and lady parts aren't exactly the same.  Skintight leggings aren't helping your case.  Neither is the lip gloss.  Surprisingly, I found her most convincing in her manly role when she was dressed as a girl pretending to be a guy pretending to be a girl.  something about the way she carried herself in that scene was pretty effective.
• Kay obviously took Beyonce a little too literally: "If I like this, I have to put a ring on it! RIGHT NOW!"
• Apparently, it's totally cool if some random young men walk into the third grade and start taking pictures of the kids.  Creeeeeeepy.
• Was I the only one who found the nail art kind of grotesque instead of stunning?

Seriously, so impractical! How are you supposed to dial the phone with those things?

Conclusions

If you want to see a more satisfying gender bender, watch Coffe Prince. If you want to see a more satisfying Gumiho story, watch My Girlfriend Is a Gumiho.  If you want to see a more satisfying case-of-the-week procedural, watch Vampire Prosecutor or Dating Agency: Cyrano.  If you want to save time by watching bits and pieces of all of these shows in one place, watch Nail Shop Paris.  At least it will be over quickly.

A Collage of Better Shows: Nail Shop Paris Korean Drama Review

Fashion Face-off Friday: Seasonal Fashion

It's official: fall is in the air.  I can tell because I suddenly have uncontrollable urges to eat ALL of the things made out of pumpkin and sip hot apple cider out of cute mugs.  And not that apple juice nonsense that my local grocery store tries to label as "cider," either.  I'm a New Englander at heart--I know real cider when I drink it!

The change in the seasons also means that I peek out of my window each morning, patiently waiting for the moment when I can reasonably get away with busting out my boots, scarves, and cardigans.  That's why I'm devoting this week's Fashion Face-off to seasonal clothing.  

Many kdramas cycle through a full range of seasonal outfits, so instead of going with normal, safe choices, I tried to choose outfits that were over-the-top in their celebration of the chosen season.  
     

Note: In case you're wondering, King 2 Hearts easily won our last face-off, with Richard Armitage swooping in as the dark horse to get second place.  I have to say that I applaud these results all around.

On to the new contenders!

Contender 1: Winter (Baek Yeo Chi, History of a Salaryman)

The advantage to cold weather is that you can layer on the accessories without feeling like you're boiling your innards for the sake of fashion.  The advantage to being immensely wealthy is that you can purchase as many accessories as your body can carry without hurting your bank account.  I like to think that the combination of weather and wealth is partly to blame for Baek Yeo Chi's winter ensemble.  The faux fur coat is a given considering that she's a rich lady in a Korean drama, but Yeo Chi went the extra mile with the leather wrist straps (?), bedazzled headband, and cheetah print purse.  Because if you're going to fake kill one animal for fashion, you should just go ahead and fake kill all of the animals.

Contender 2: Spring (Kim Ji Soo, Nail Shop Paris)

I wouldn't normally post a picture from behind like this because it feels objectifying and a little creepy, but I really needed to make it clear that Ji Soo is wearing peplum shorts here.  I didn't even know that was possible, but, as you can see, it is.  If this pastel/floral combo doesn't just scream "springtime!" to you, the fact that her butt looks like it is blossoming into a beautiful rose probably should.

Contender 3: Summer (Geum Jan Di, Boys over Flowers)

Jan Di's expression says it all.  When I think of summer, I think of vacation, and when I think of vacation, I think of the beach.  Nowhere in the history of resort wear is there an outfit that goes all in like Jan Di's does.  The patterned straw hat, the bright, flowing dress--it's all geared towards fun in the sun, regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.  Someone on Pinterest once said that Jan Di's dress looks like a salad, and now that's all I can see when I look at her.  

Contender 4: Fall (Tae Gong Sil, The Master's Sun)

Walking around wearing a poncho and rain boots? Definitely a spring activity.  Walking around a cemetery in a poncho and rain boots?  Now we're suited for fall!  Halloween is my favorite holiday, and Gong Sil's ghostly poncho seems perfect for the occasion.

Which seasonal ensemble wins out?  Vote below!

Which Seasonal Outfit Was Best?
	Winter (History of a Salaryman)
	Spring (Nail Shop Paris)
	Summer (Boys over Flowers)
	Fall (The Master's Sun)
pollcode.com free polls

Fashion Face-off Friday: Seasonal Fashion