Why Pragmatic People Don't Write K-dramas

Do you ever find yourself screaming at the TV "CALL THE POLICE!" or "JUST TELL THE TRUTH!", but K-drama characters never seem to listen? I do. Sometimes it seems like a miracle that any K-drama characters survive into adulthood at all based on their poor critical thinking skills, and as someone who can be practical to a fault, it drives me insane.

Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm in charge of writing the K-dramas, and I fill in the massive plot holes or make the characters stop doing stupid things to the best of my ability. Of course, then I realize that if I were writing some of these scenarios, the show would be over immediately, so maybe it's actually a good thing I'm not in charge?


To illustrate my point, here's how a handful of dramas would have turned out differently if I (or anyone equally pragmatic) were writing the scripts.

*WARNING: SPOILERS*

1. Sensory Couple/ Girl Who Sees Smells 

You're already in a car. Just keep drivin' right to the police station.

The dilemma: You find out that your best friend is a serial killer. You already have an appointment set for that evening to meet with a detective at a secluded church. What should you do?

If I were writing: Plan A: Uh, you immediately drive to the police station and tell them that your best friend is a serial killer. Obviously. You then wait at said police station until he is caught so that he can't murder you. You do not die. Roll credits.

Plan B: If, for some reason, you only trust that one detective, you immediately call the detective and say "Hey, I know we're scheduled for tonight, but can I meet you in a well-lit public place right now so that I don't get murdered by my serial killer BFF? Kthxbai!" You do not die. Roll credits.

Plan C: If somehow plans A and B fall through and you end up waiting at a secluded church alone and your serial killer BFF walks in, RUN. Now is not the time to play it cool. You are like a foot taller than this guy and outweigh him by a fair measure, so don't let him get close enough to tranquilize you or something (I assume that's the only way he managed to overpower his friend, right?). Also, pull out your phone and call 911 while you are running so that even if you die, they know who the killer is. Roll credits.

What actually happens: You show up early to the most secluded, dark place possible and hold perfectly still so that your serial killer BFF can catch you as easily as possible. Serial killer BFF then goes on to try to murder more people for the foreseeable future.

While we're on the subject of questionable writing choices and Sensory Couple (which, despite these specific scenes, I quite enjoy), can we give a shout-out to this scene?

I get the idea of fan service, but they are literally talking about how he's a brutal serial killer in this scene. Doesn't that make anyone else feel conflicted? Yay for Namgoong Min's abs, boo for murdering people? I prefer my serial killers without chocolate abs, thank you very much. That will make it easier for me to run away.

2. Nice Guy

Now is not the time for romance!

The dilemma: The girl you've always loved calls you up to say she accidentally killed a guy when he assaulted her at a hotel room. She threatens to commit suicide if this scandal ruins her career as a newscaster. What should you do?

If I were writing: Sit her down and tell her that committing suicide over not being a newscaster is quite literally one of the stupidest things you've ever heard. Give her the phone number of a good career counselor. Stay with her and be a supportive friend as you call the police and help make sure they know that it was self defense.

Realize that she is cray-cray and find someone else to date. Roll credits.

What actually happens: You say, "I know! I'll give up my career as a doctor and go to jail (with a worse sentence than she would have gotten) for a crime I didn't commit." She quits being a newscaster and eventually ends up in jail anyway. You end up on a twisted road to revenge and amnesia.

3. Goong

Parents of the year?

The dilemma: Surprise! You've been secretly betrothed to the crown prince since birth! Too bad he's a total dirtbag and you don't want to marry him. Of course, if you do marry him, you could get your family out of debt and stop those scary loan sharks from putting red tags on the TV. What should you do?

If I were writing: You tell your parents, "My life is worth more than the TV. How about you guys reign in your spending habits a little instead of selling me off like cattle?" Roll credits.

What actually happens: She tearfully steps in to save the TV by marrying the dirtbag prince. He continues to be a dirtbag for about 20 more episodes.

4. Nail Shop Paris

The short answer? No. You don't.

The dilemma: You are a terrible writer with no original ideas. Suddenly, you discover a nail shop where handsome men work and solve their clients' life problems, and you think, "What a great, original idea for a story!" Unfortunately, it's a boys' only club. What should you do?

If I were writing:  You realize it's actually kind of a lame story idea, and you go back to the drawing board. Roll credits.

What actually happens: Even though you look nothing like a boy, you pretend to be a boy and work at the shop. You write the most convoluted mess of a story of all time.

5. The Prime Minister and I

Dear women of the world: Contract marrying the first guy you see won't solve your problems. Or his.

The dilemma: Oh no! You and the Prime Minister have been caught together in what appears to be a scandalous photo! His career may be ruined! What do you do?

If I were writing: You figure an unsubstantiated rumor will blow over much more quickly than a fake marriage and fake divorce would. You keep your day job, and you don't turn into a sad, docile domestic goddess with no personality.

What actually happens: You guys somehow think that a fake marriage and fake divorce will not create ANY scandal at all, and you turn into a sad, docile domestic goddess with no personality. 

So...I guess the moral of this story is that critical thinking skills will never lead to true love?

Are there any other K-drama scenarios that make your logic-loving brains cringe and shriek in horror?

Why Pragmatic People Don't Write K-dramas

Nice Guy (The Innocent Man) Korean Drama Review

My soundtrack for writing this review tonight is this song:

It felt strangely appropriate.  You'll find out why in a minute.

Anyway, I've been trying to step out of my kdrama comfort zone lately.  I am normally a solid rom com kind of girl, and revenge melodramas aren't really my cup of tea. Dying and crying? Blech. Give me lovesick hijinks any day.

After Sungkyunkwan Scandal, however, I really wanted to watch more from the best bromance in the world. After accidentally (completely on purpose) reading a spoiler for Yoo Ah In's Fashion King and realizing that I would really, really hate it, I was left no choice but to go with Song Joong Ki's Nice Guy (also known as Innocent Man). Unfortunately, Song Joong Ki is just leaving for military service, which means no more shows from him for a while. Why now? Just when I've developed a mild obsession!

The basic plot is this: In a case of seriously flawed logic, a guy goes to jail for a murder he doesn't commit.  Once he gets out, he becomes a gigolo (whaaaaaaat?) and then revengey stuff happens. And love stuff happens. And revengey-love stuff happens. Ridiculous.

This is from the intro credits. He's shedding a single tear! And he dropped his watch! Because--time! And feelings!

Bottom line? I loved every single absurd, glorious, melodramatic second of it. I'm not even embarrassed. Here's the breakdown:

The Plot

When a murder happens in the first 20 minutes of episode 1, you know you're in for a wild kdrama ride, and this show's plot was crazy with a capital CRAZY.  I mean, at one point in the show, one of the characters starts to recover from amnesia, and the shock of her recovery--wait for it--gives her more amnesia. Because according to kdrama logic, what's better than amnesia? DOUBLE AMNESIA! What's better than a head injury? DOUBLE HEAD INJURY! What's better than blackmailing? DOUBLE BLACKMAILING! You get the picture.

The Characters

To be honest, the plot wasn't what really won me over because it wasn't that great. If you want to know why I temporarily stopped sleeping or showering and had some intense marathons with this show, here's the answer:

He's disappointed you even had to ask.

In my experience, most kdramas tend to be external.  What I mean by that is that exterior events incite change in the characters, and that change is manifested in outward action.  For example, a girl gets slightly cold and then--in a crazy twist of fate--faints. We then know that the man has developed feelings for her because he carries her home and watches over her all night long. 

As I just said, Nice Guy has a lot of external stuff happening, but at its core, it's actually an intensely internal show.  Even when Kang Ma Roo makes the outward gestures typical in drama romances, we can never be sure if it's sincere or not--because he doesn't even know if he's being sincere. His character goes beyond the usual  "I love you, but I'm also conflicted because I'm angry/guilty" conflict into something more complex, and Song Joong Ki does an incredible job portraying the character. Half of the time, I wasn't sure if I should be swooning or swearing at the computer because Joong Ki's Ma Roo is so flawed and messy and confused. That internal tension is what made this drama so engaging.    

Tormented sad Quasimodo face! Who wouldn't be intrigued?

For the first five episodes or so, Moon Chae Won also holds her own as Seo Eun Gi.  Sure, she's a little bit abrasive, but she's also sassy and powerful.  We all know how much I love that in a female lead!  Unfortunately, Moon Chae Won doesn't get much to do for the second half of the series once her character gets turned into an amnesiac plot device.  The show is really all about Kang Ma Roo, but I saw just enough of Moon Chae Won's abilities as an actress to make me wish they had used her a little bit better here.

I wish we got more of this "stop messing with me, or I will eat your internal organs raw" face.

And then we come to the character who made me angrier than any other kdrama villain has ever made me in my entire life: Han Jae Hee (Park Si Yeon).  I think what made her so upsetting was that she wasn't just horrible for the sake of being a terrible person.  She was an exaggerated version of someone you could meet in real life.  She was manipulative and selfish, but not out of some unreasonable desire to ruin other people's lives.  Instead, she's a Daisy Buchanan: beautiful and alluring, but completely self-absorbed.  She wants everything, but she doesn't want to sacrifice anything. (And now you know why that Great Gatsby song got stuck in my head. Any excuse for a nerdy lit reference!)  She's so self-absorbed, in fact, that every time she talks about Kang Ma Roo, she says something to the effect of "that man who I loved more than my own life" without realizing that he's exactly the opposite. She didn't love him more than her own life; she didn't even love him more than her own job!  Really? You need to commit suicide if you can't be a journalist? There are no other careers out there that you could do so that your boyfriend doesn't have to go to prison and become a gigolo?

Wearing glittery blazers is also a pretty surefire way to make me hate you as a character.

I want to talk about ALL of the characters because that's how engrossing this show was, but I'll stop here.

Other Things about This Show

Is it just me, or were the music choices for this show a little off sometimes?  I almost stopped halfway through episode 1 because, while I can handle dramatic murders and cover-ups, the over-the-top soap opera tango music was just too much.  You shouldn't be busting out the murder accordions (murdercordions?) until at least episode four!  I also recall one scene where two people were blackmailing each other at a cafe (I can't remember who it was because basically everyone blackmailed everyone else during the course of the show), and Jason Mraz was playing.  How are you supposed to drive fear into your opponent's heart with "I Won't Give Up"--possibly the most mellow song on the entire planet--playing in the background?

(Spoilers) Can we have a little heart-to heart about episode 20 for a second? I know that a lot of people just hated it outright, but I'm kind of torn.  Sure, it was tonally inconsistent with the rest of the show.  It was also kind of confusing and didn't mention anything about what happened to Tae San.  I mean, I didn't really care for most of the office politics throughout the show, but after 20 episodes of shouting OMO WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO TAE SAN???????, the writers should have included something about it!

The one thing that saved that ending for me was the relationship between Ma Roo and Eun Gi.  Throughout the show, Kang Ma Roo's obsession was his need to save the women in his life. His love for Jae Hee, Choco, and Eun Gi all grows out of his ability to protect them when they are vulnerable or helpless.  Because Eun Gi is a helpless amnesiac for over half of the show (Can you tell I'm a little miffed about this?), I wasn't ever entirely sure if Ma Roo could love her once she no longer relied on him. Even at the end of episode 19, he gets stabbed, and his primary concern is sending her off before she can notice. (Wait, how did she not notice that gigantic blood stain on his stomach?) 

Episode 20 resolved that issue for me.  Even if it was inconsistent with the rest of the show, I needed to see that he could love her without always having to save her.  They built a relationship on friendship and respect, not on an attraction that grew out of pity or guilt.

Am I suddenly converted to revenge melos?  Probably not.  Could I even handle watching this one all the way through again?  Probably not.  But it's still definitely worth a watch.

The Twitter Version of this Review

Song Joong Ki is awesome. Watch this show immediately. Don't let the murdercordions deter you. #...something clever. Aw, forget it. I don't understand how to use hashtags. Just watch this show.

Where to watch Nice Guy:

Viki

DramaFever

Hulu

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Nice Guy (The Innocent Man) Korean Drama Review